The Cards You're Dealt
by maryjaneswims
Summary: After OotP. Probably will be short novel length. Harry learns to deal with the cards he's dealt- OOTP Spoilers- and there will be romantic subplots. Have no idea what the rating will be in the future.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter. I did write this plot, however. So that is mine. Copyright Craymere!  
  
Also, this contains ******OOTP SPOILERS******  
  
Here is the full (yet short) summary:  
  
After the fifth year, Harry returns home, only to find himself returning to Hogwarts one week later for Sirius' funeral. Throughout the year, he begins to accept what cards he has been dealt, and grows. There are romantic plots, but not dominant. Written as the 6th year, hoping to make it novel-length.  
  
THE CARDS YOU'RE DEALT  
  
CHAPTER ONE  
  
The green-eyed teenager straightened his tie. He watched his reflection in the mirror as his body mechanically did things. Mirror boy brushed his teeth, combed his hair, washed his face. Harry felt as if he had no control over anything. He couldn't control the Voldemort had caused Harry to inadvertently kill Sirius. He couldn't control the bloody prophecy. And now, he couldn't control the occurrence of a funeral for Sirius.  
  
Harry felt hollow and lifeless as he walked ot the window in his bedroom. Unconsciously, he lifted the glass. He'd owled Professor Lupin- no, it was Remus now, Harry told himself- and asked him if he could fly with Harry to the funeral- he had no idea how to fly there. They would meet here, at Harry's window, in five minutes. He would return that evening, with the death of Sirius finalized in his mind. Harry felt like he could cry any second. NO tears came. A funeral meant Sirius was gone forever. Harry had managed to keep Sirius alive in his mind by occupying himself, reading his schoolbooks furiously, over and over. A funeral would force him to recognize that Sirius couldn't come back.  
  
Harry nearly screamed when he felt a hand on his shoulder, jerking him out of his thoughts. Lupin.  
  
"What'd you do that for?" cried Harry. "Scare me out of my wits." he mumbled.  
  
"I apologize," said Lupin, sounding genuinely sorry. Harry looked up at him. He looked drained, as if he had next to no energy. And full moon was two weeks ago..  
  
"Shall we get going?" said Lupin, looking uncomfortable. Harry realized he'd been staring at him. Quickly, he averted his eyes to focus on his Firebolt. That Sirius gave to him. a flash of memories came forward in Harry's mind. The day he'd received the broomstick, Sirius as Padfoot at a Quidditch match, the day he met Sirius and learned he was a good person.  
  
Lupin cleared his throat, bringing Harry back to reality.  
  
"Oh.yea. let's go." Harry sat on his windowsill and mounted his broom from there.  
  
Lupin cast a concealment charm over both of them, and then they kicked off and rode in silence for a few minutes before Lupin broke it.  
  
"Harry?" he asked.  
  
"Yea?" he mumbled, hoping Lupin wouldn't ask how he was.  
  
"How are you holding up?" Harry wanted to scream.  
  
"Oh, you know, okay..." he replied.  
  
"Listen," said Lupin, looking uncomfortable once again, "you know I'm here if you need anything. I know the pain you're dealing with."  
  
Harry looked into Lupin's eyes.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
They rode the rest of the way to the funeral quietly, each lost in his own thoughts. After thirty minutes, they arrived at Hogwarts, where the funeral was to be held. Lupin and Harry landed twenty-five feet from where a small crowd of people was standing, and Lupin removed the concealment charm. Harry looked the people over. Tonks and Moody stood talking quietly with Kingsley Shacklebot, and Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were alone and discussing something, troubled looks clouding their faces.  
  
The rest of the Hogwarts professors stood huddled together, all of them looking as if they were cold, despite the fact that it was very warm outside. Harry spotted Snape.  
  
'Why is that git even here?' thought Harry bitterly. 'Sirius would've hated to have Snape at his funeral! Really, why was he-' Harry's thoughts were cut off suddenly by someone falling on top of him. He looked up to see Ron clutching an old telephone that had served as a portkey.  
  
"Hey," he said to Harry quietly, giving him a look of sympathy, "Mum and Dad are on duty. so it's just us and Ginny." Harry looked to his left and noticed Ginny was present as well as Hermione.  
  
The four stood, dusting themselves off. Hermione approached Harry, not even attempting to hide the tears that came slowly, burning her cheeks. Suddenly, she reached out and embraced Harry. Harry felt pain in Hermione. He sensed a mutual feeling, a want to escape the world and soar above the clouds, leaving all people and tangible things behind.  
  
Slowly, Harry pulled out of the hug, looking at Hermione. For five seconds, they gazed into each other's eyes. Their eyes told more than their mouths ever would that day. In them was reflected immense pain and sorrow. Hermione's revealed sympathy, while Harry's showed numbness.  
  
They were torn away from their gaze when a loud 'ding' was heard, and Harry turned to see what had caused the sound. Dumbledore stood, wand pointed skyward, and cleared his throat.  
  
"I think," he said, pausing, "that now is the time to begin."  
  
Up next: Sirius' funeral, which will be short, I think, and to the point, and then the rest of Harry's summer will be summed up in the next 2 chapters. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: YAYYY!!! I GOT MY FIRST REVIEWS!!!!  
  
So this chapter is dedicated to: Voldie on Varsity Track, those who I bow down to. Ya'll ROCK. ::claps hands:: AND!! TO STARLIGHT LOVER!! My fellow mourner of Sirius!!  
  
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWS!!  
  
Also: I'm an American. so I'm not even going to try to write British slang. End of last chapter:  
  
Also: Sorry so short. I'm not good at long chapters. I do update frequently though.  
  
Dumbledore stood, wand pointed skyward, and cleared his throat.  
  
"I think," he said, pausing, "that now is the time to begin." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Everyone quietly shuffled to a tent that had been conjured by Dumbledore and sat in the chairs that rested in perfect lines of eight by eight. Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Harry took seats next to Lupin, who was sitting in the first chair, first row. The seating only took a short moment and then all eyes turned to Dumbledore.  
  
"If I could have Mr. Lupin up here, please," said Dumbledore, looking fatigued.  
  
Harry turned to look at Lupin and was taken aback that the man was not surprised when Dumbledore called him up. Lupin walked to the front of the tent and turned so that he was facing the people. Realization dawned on Harry. he was given the eulogy.  
  
Lupin began to speak.  
  
"While I was at Hogwarts, I had the great fortune to meet three wonderful people who accepted and befriended me."  
  
Harry cringed at the mention of his father, unnamed though he was.  
  
"All three of them are gone. Moreover, finding out about Sirius was one of the worst pains I've ever felt in my life. I am only comforted by the knowledge that he will never leave us, not really. His spirit remains here. His love of life, of those that he surrounded himself with. His determination, his drive, his inner prankster. That remains in all of us who knew him."  
  
Remus paused. Tears were threatening Harry.  
  
"Sirius wouldn't have wanted us to be sad at his funeral. And so to celebrate his spirit, I brought along something."  
  
Lupin, a small smile etching across his face, pulled out enough packages of Filibuster's fireworks for everyone, throwing them out to the crowd of people.  
  
"Light them, and remember Sirius. A wonderful person, dying at the mercy of Lord Voldemort and family. Let that fuel your drive to work against the Dark Side, and one day we will rise above."  
  
Remus magically removed the top of the tent and lit his firework. It flew into the air and shined. The fires came together and formed a huge, shaggy dog.  
  
Harry watched the dog move and bark as tears slowly spilled from his eyes. He was not aware of anyone looking at him, not ashamed of his tears. He carefully removed the packaging on his fireworks, and lit them. They rose into the air and took, strangely, not a dog shape, but that of his father's Animagi. Padfoot and Prongs then went and played, as if they were talking. All those who knew the complicated story of the four Marauders were smiling and crying. Tears for friends lost, families ruined and smiles for their spirit they left behind.  
  
Suddenly Dumbledore appeared behind Harry.  
  
"He was a wonderful person," Harry said uncharacteristically, his eyes filled with sorrow.  
  
"And now he is happy, don't you think?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
Harry looked with his red eyes at Dumbledore and nodded agreement.  
  
A month passed, and soon it was time for Harry to go to Diagon Alley to get his things for school. Hermione, Ron and he had been owling the whole summer, and arrangements had already been made to pick Harry up that very afternoon at 3:30.  
  
Harry packed his robes, map, cloak and other various things in his trunk, stuffing everything in tight as to have room for his books. He placed a tee shirt over Hedwig's cage- so Uncle Vernon wouldn't have to see her- and picked up his trunk and went downstairs to wait for the Weasleys, who would be coming by car.  
  
Harry nervously checked his watch, which he'd gotten from Ron and Hermione for his birthday ((A/N: Birthday didn't really fit in. so. yea! Happy Sweet Sixteen Harry!)), and looked back and forth from the door to the television. He played nervously with his hair and the strings on the couch as the minutes ticked by. 3:24, 3:25, 3: 26. suddenly, Harry heard a series of loud honkings. Harry was horrified when he looked out the window to see Ron and Arthur Weasley grinning madly as they repeatedly honked the horn on their borrowed Ministry car.  
  
"Hey Harry! This is great, this corn, isn't it?" yelled Ron.  
  
"What in the blazes do they think they're doing?" hollered Uncle Vernon.  
  
"Uncivilized culture!" muttered Aunt Petunia.  
  
Dudley sprinted away, memories of a large tongue dancing in his head ((A/N: or is that sugarplum fairies.))  
  
Harry simply grinned, looking at his father and brother. They were sitting in the car. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey all! Here's the update, finally. this went through a revision, sort of. More like I took out a TON of unimportant fluff (I'm exaggerating a little but hey creative license). If anyone's interested in reading the unrevised chapter, email me at ISwimUSA2@hotmail.com  
  
Enjoy!  
  
CHAPTER THREE  
  
The ride to the Weasley's home was pleasurable and uneventful. Ron and Harry talked for a while, but soon engaged in the age-old habit of staring out the window. Harry occupied himself by counting street signs that he saw along the rode.  
  
50 minutes and 27 street signs later, Mr. Weasley took a sharp turn and Harry looked up at what he had been waiting and wishing for all summer long. The Burrow. As always, he was delighted to see it and all of its quirks. Ron grumbled something unrecognizable as he got out of the car, but Harry did nothing of the sort. He simply grinned. ((And I deleted fluffy stuff.))  
  
Mrs. Weasley scurried out to greet them, practically attacking Harry with hugs, kisses and all. With one last kiss, she turned to Mr. Weasley.  
  
"Oh, Arthus," she said, relief present in her voice, "I was getting so worried. What took you so long?"  
  
"Molly," began Arthur exasperatedly, "we were five minutes late."  
  
"But still." argued Mrs Weasley.  
  
Arthur's eyes softened and Harry realized Mrs. Weasley was worried about Voldemort. "  
  
"It's okay," said Mr. Weasley soothingly, "we're home now." He kissed her forehead and embraced her. She hugged him back for a moment, then wiped a tear from her eye and collected herself.  
  
"Hermione arrived a couple of hours ago and she and Ginny are in Ginny's room," said Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"I expect they'll be wanting to see you."  
  
Harry and Ron grinned and rushed up the stairs to complete the 'Three Musketeers' reunion.  
  
Breathing heavily, the duo barged into Ginny's room.  
  
Ginny, who sat on the bed, was very absorbed in a scrapbook she was looking at and said, while slowly lifting her head,  
  
"How kind of you to knock, and welcome to our- oh, it's you," said Ginny, trying to sound annoyed but coming off excited. Then, as if just realizing that Ron and Harry were there, Ginny suddenly snapped the book in her hands closed, looking embarrassed. Harry knew he had seen pictures of muggles in boy bands and he teased Ginny with his eyes.  
  
Hermione jumped up and hugged Harry.  
  
"Oh, it's so good to see you! I missed you loads!" Harry grinned at Hermione and shook his head. 'Girls,' he thought to himself.  
  
Turning to look at Ron, she said,  
  
"You've grown so much in a month, Ron! You're getting to be so handsome!"  
  
And she kissed him on the nose (standing on her tippy-toes) and pulled him into a huge hug.  
  
Harry was pretty sure Hermione and Ginny didn't notice, but Ron looked rather pleased with himself.  
  
The next day found the Fab Three in Diagon Alley, along with Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. After a treat at Florean Fortescues', they immediately headed to get their books (much to Hermione's liking and Ron's distaste), for Mrs. Weasley had just checked her watch and exclaimed,  
  
"Oh! It's getting late! Let's get a move on then, I've still got to pack."  
  
"Pack for what?" Harry asked absentmindedly.  
  
"After they drop us off at King's Cross tomorrow, Mum and Dad are going back to Grimmauld Place," Ron said thickly.  
  
Harry's stomach twisted at the mention of Grimmauld Place. He hadn't known they were continuing to use it as Order Headquarters. it made sense, but still.  
  
Seeing the pained expression on Harry's face, Hermione jumped in, kicking Ron, and tried to change the subject.  
  
"I'm really looking forward to this year, aren't you Harry? I expect we'll learn more about our N.E.W.T.s- OH! I'd forgotten, how did you two do on your O.W.L.s? You didn't seem too keen to tell me your scores through owl post."  
  
"Well, I wonder why not, RON," said Mrs. Weasley angrily.  
  
"I got an Outstanding in Defense Against the Dark Arts!" Ron protested.  
  
"Only to due the fact that Harry taught you! Your grade in Astronomy was far below our expectations! You should be very ashamed of yourself, very ashamed!"  
  
"I told you, Mum, we got-"  
  
"Don't even go there, Ronald Weasley," said Mrs. Weasley in a steely voice. But as she turned to Hermione, her eyes were warm and she asked,  
  
"How were your scores, Hermione? All Outstandings, I expect?"  
  
Hermione blushed.  
  
"Yes, they were."  
  
"Oh, wonderful!" Mrs. Weasley smiled brightly.  
  
"And you Harry?"  
  
"Oh, well," Harry mumbled and Ron smirked, "they weren't quite as good as Hermione's."  
  
Mrs. Weasley gave him a kind, sympathetic look and said, "Well, that's alright dear, you had a lot on your mind."  
  
Ron looked at his mother incredulously, and muttered something that sounded quite like 'loves them more than me'.  
  
"Here we are now," said Mrs. Weasley, turning in the street to the bookstore.  
  
"Hurry now, get your books and we'll Floo home from here."  
  
The four friends did as they were told, and returned home 20 minutes later to a very, very worried looking Arthur Weasley. 


	4. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
Just to let ya'll know, the next chapter will be up by Monday evening. Sorry for the delay (gimme an S C H O O L!)  
  
Okay, thanks to my reviewer who reviewed after Chapter 3.  
  
In response:  
  
I don't know if you mean: 1) it's a dumb cliffie or 2) you hate not having the next chapter.  
  
So, if it's Number 1: My cliffhangers aren't that great. I'm working on them. Or if it's Number 2: You will be satisfied by Monday evening. I'm writing it right now.  
  
Peace, love and hard rock Craymere 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Whatsa matter, Dad?" Ron asked, immediately moving to Mr. Weasley's side.  
  
"It's nothing, nothing," said Arthur distractedly. A loud thump was heard and the eldest Weasley looked, almost hungrily, at Molly Weasley exiting the fireplace.  
  
"Sorry, sorry," she said bustling about with her bags, "I forgot-" she stopped dead in her tracks at the look on Arthur's face.  
  
"How bad?" she asked turning as white as Mr. Weasley.  
  
Arthur directed his eyes to the children.  
  
"Let's talk alone," he said meaningfully.  
  
"NO!" cried Ron. "We're all old enough now, we know it's something about You-Know-Who, and, seeing as he's out to get Harry, WE DESERVE TO KNOW!" shouted Ron angrily.  
  
Ron had hit a last nerve with his father, and he suddenly cowered at the look on the older man's face.  
  
"Alright then, you want to know, do you?" Arthur asked furiously, almost in revenge for Ron testing him. He continued, wiping sweat off his brow,  
  
"There has been a slew of murders, we've yet to catch any of the Death Eaters who did it and one of the murders was that of your classmate Dean Thomas!"  
  
"ARTHUR!" screamed Mrs. Weasley.  
  
As if just realizing what he had done, Mr. Weasley put his head in his hands and cursed.  
  
Harry felt like throwing up. First his godfather, now his friend. Standing near Ron, Hermione grabbed for his hand and he wrapped in arm around her instead, supporting her in a loving way.  
  
Ginny sank slowly in a chair next to Harry in shock, mouth slightly open. Harry felt his stomach twisting oddly, he'd just remembered that Dean was Ginny's boyfriend. Harry bent down so that their heads were at the same level, and Ginny bent hers into Harry's shoulder and began to cry. Without thinking, Harry wrapped his arm around Ginny's shoulders.  
  
After Harry's shoulder was dripping with saltwater, Ginny broke the silence that had been present between she and Harry.  
  
"I never told him that I love him."  
  
Harry pulled Ginny out and held her firmly, his hands on her shoulders.  
  
He was quiet as he gazed at her, and she spoke after a moment.  
  
"I loved him."  
  
Harry nodded, a lone, inexorable, unhidden tear dripping down his face: a tear for death, life, love, hate, Ginny, Dean. A tear for the magical world. His gaze never leaving Ginny's, he uttered two words.  
  
"He knows."  
  
Ginny looked down and twiddled her fingers. When her eyes met Harry's again, her tears had slowed, but still came in a continuous flow. It was a moment before any type of communication took place.  
  
And then, as if in agreement, or maybe just acknowledgment, Ginny nodded.  
  
The next few days before school began again were lived in terror. The world was locked in their houses, and the Weasleys had made an emergency early trip to Grimmauld Place.  
  
Harry found himself once again in his godfather's depressing house, and it was hard to be anything but that: depressed.  
  
Ginny sat in her room all day, staring at books but never reading a page. Harry, Ron and Hermione basically lied in bed all day- Hermione had moved a pillow and comforter into the boys' room to give Ginny 'alone time'. They studied together to pass the time, often quizzing one another. They only left their room for meals, and avoided the subject of Voldemort if they could.  
  
One night, after a very fulfilling dinner of cheesy potato casserole, Harry finally brought up the avoided topic. They had to discuss it sometime, Harry reasoned.  
  
"Hey guys," said Harry and they both turned to look at him.  
  
"Why do you think Voldemort's such a terrible person?"  
  
The question didn't seem to shock or upset Ron or Hermione, Harry was sure they had thought about it as well in the past few days.  
  
"I honestly don't know," said Hermione slowly. "But when you're raised to hate. I guess hate ensues. I know what you mean though, what could make him hate so much?" Ron nodded.  
  
"It's very cult-like, it's almost as if he's been brainwashed."  
  
"It's not far from the truth," said Harry automatically.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione.  
  
Harry realized what he'd accidentally brought about. The prophecy. He gave in to his huge mouth, and looked at the mirror on the wall behind Ron.  
  
"The night after, well, you know," said Harry, fixing his gaze on Hermione, who nodded, "I went down to Dumbledore's office. And I know I've never told you before, but that night, he told me what the prophecy said."  
  
Ron's eyes got bigger, but he stayed silent.  
  
Harry took a deep breath, and exhale slowly.  
  
"In. the end, one of us- Voldemort and me- has to kill the other," said Harry quietly. He looked back at the mirror.  
  
"Kill or be killed, murder or be murdered. 'Neither can live while the other survives,'," quoted Harry.  
  
The look on his best friends faces was enough for him to gage their reaction. Fear. That was as much as to be expected.  
  
"Who made the prophecy?" asked Hermione, breaking the uncomfortable silence first.  
  
"Believe it or not. Professor Trelawney."  
  
Ron looked astounded, and Harry smiled slightly.  
  
"But you know," said Harry softly, "I'm glad to know now. The prophecy, I mean. I don't know, but now I sort of know what I have to fear. And I can be ready for it."  
  
Ron looked him in the eye.  
  
"You're not alone," said Ron.  
  
Hermione nodded.  
  
"We'll always be here. Don't be nervous to ask us for help."  
  
"Thanks." said Harry in a barely audible tone. "You think we'll get rid of him, don't you?"  
  
A tear dripped down Hermione's face.  
  
"There is no doubt in mind."  
  
A/N: SAP SAP SAP Enough said  
  
Thanks all for reading. Next chapter will be less sappy. 


	6. SorryguysAN

Sorry, ya'll, I know I said Friday, but I've only got one page front and back- I handwrite them first, generally- and I've also got a spot of writer's block. I apologize. ::hides::  
  
I'm not promising another date, but by next Friday, surely.  
  
Sorry for the delay.  
  
MERE 


	7. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5  
  
AN: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. School has been absolutely crazy and I'm class president and stuff and last week was Homecoming. Muhahaha.  
  
Okay, apology aside, does anyone know how to do italics?  
  
Harry slapped at a fly on his neck. It continued to tickle him.  
  
"Go away!" he grumbled. Turning to his other side, Harry opened his eyes slowly to look into those of Mrs. Weasley. Harry immediately blushed.  
  
"Time to get up," she said dryly. Her eyes were puffy and she looked tired; she was not nearly as cheery as normal. Harry suspected she had not slept all night, and he wondered why.  
  
Throwing back the covers and setting his feet on the ground with a loud thump, Harry stumbled over to where his suitcase sat. He grabbed a pair of jeans, a tee shirt and boxers. He left Ron's bedroom to shower silently, mechanically, still half asleep. ((AN: this is for all ya'll who say 'Dirty Harry'. he does never shower))  
  
Turning on the water, he stepped in the shower and was woken by the icy water. And he remembered.  
  
He remembered why Mrs. Weasley would've looked so drained. The true root of all evil in the magical world. Voldemort. How could he have forgotten?  
  
Harry ran his hand through his dripping hair, trying to relieve some anxiety perhaps, as the initially freezing water began to scorch him.  
  
The deaths, especially Dean's, only added to Harry's mounting nerves. Every day, hour, minute and second drew Harry closer to the time he would face Voldemort. A final time.  
  
Harry slumped against the wall, suddenly feeling exhausted. This was far too much for him to take in, wasn't he allowed just a break in time? But there was no break. The water kept running, the toilet kept dripping and the floor kept creaking as people kept walking by.  
  
"Harry?" called Ron. "Are you almost done in there?"  
  
"Oh.uh. yea.." Harry said quickly, grabbing the bottle of shampoo and pouring a tablespoonful in his hand. ((Shout out to all you 'Dirty Harry' people!! He never showers.)) He quickly massaged it into his head, and rinsed. He rubbed the Lever 2000 over his body. If only there was a soap for your soul, and it would remove all the dirt, the blood, until you were left with an immaculate, beautiful heart. And it has never been hurt. And it has never been challenged, or betrayed, or broken, or torn. It is perfect. 


	8. Chapter 5, Part II

((HEY was just looking at my story, and noticed that the chapter before this one (7) has two pages missing. here they are.))  
  
"Harry!" called Ron softly, breaking Harry from the sort of spell he was under.  
  
"Are you nearly done in the there?" "Oh. yea," Harry said, fumbling with the soap. "Just give me two minutes."  
  
He rinsed his hair once more, and turned off the water abruptly. He was immediately freezing and grabbed his towel quickly, drying his upper body and wrapping it around him quickly. He pulled on his gray, faded tee shirt and blue jeans. He didn't bother combing his hair; it was no use. He opened the door and gave nothing but a brief nod to Ron, who gave him the same in return, and stepped down the stairs to the aroma of Mrs. Weasley's pancakes.  
  
"Good morning, dear," said Mrs. Weasley absently. "Grab yourself a plate and a couple of pancakes."  
  
Harry did as he was told and took a seat next to Ginny. He speared the pancake with his fork, and cut it into tiny bits with his knife. Dipping the bites first in butter, then syrup, he placed it in his mouth for a moment. He felt out of touch with himself, as if he had to tell himself what to do.  
  
Chew, chew, chew, swallow. Chew, chew, chew, swallow.  
  
Just as he was taking his last bite, Ron came down the steps, followed by Hermione. Again, there was no communication, only that of a mutual feeling of sorrow and helplessness. Ron grabbed a plate for Hermione and he- a very boyfriend- like thing to do, Harry noted- and served himself a plateful of pancakes. Ron plopped himself down next to Harry, and Hermione next to Ron. Ron ate furiously, Hermione not at all- both lost in thought. Between bites, Ron asked,  
  
"Where's Dad?"  
  
Mrs. Weasley gazed at Ron for a moment and then shook her head, as if just realizing Mr. Weasley was gone.  
  
"Oh. he had to go into work early, he said to have a nice school year and he's sorry he had to miss you leaving."  
  
Ron nodded, satisfied. He took a final bite, and said,  
  
"I think I'll go finish packing," he said, picking up his plate and placing it in the sink.  
  
"Me as well," said Harry and Hermione in unison, mimicking Ron's actions.  
  
Ginny quickly followed, and the four walked up the steps somberly to Ron's room. All four had finished packing already, and so they lay on the bed together.  
  
"God, what a crappy day to go back to school," said Ginny moodily.  
  
They all nodded in agreement.  
  
"It'll be weird, won't it?" said Ron. "Just four people in our dorm?"  
  
"Yea," said Harry listlessly.  
  
And the four sat talking for another hour or so, before Mrs. Weasley called up to them to leave. Before they knew it, they were boarding the train at Platform 9 ¾, going away for another year. But this year would be quite unlike the rest. 


	9. Chapter 6

A/N: The trio and Ginny have arrived at Hogwarts. Enjoy!  
  
The deaths had a profound effect on Hogwarts. Never before had there been a more depressing Start of Term feast. The flags adorning the Great Hall were black (as they had been following Cedric's death); the general mood was somber. The feast, a normally joyous occasion, was terribly depressing.  
  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny sat near the end of the Gryffindor table, talking quietly. Seamus sat with them; yet, he was alone, disconnected from the world around him. It was certainly odd to see Seamus without Dean. Ginny was almost a mirror image of Seamus, doing mechanically what she was told.  
  
"Look at Sprout," whispered Ron. "She's a right mess, isn't she?"  
  
It was true, she was. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she blinked over and over, as if trying to stop herself from crying.  
  
"No, look at McGonagall," said Harry quietly, gesturing towards the transfiguration professor.  
  
"Jesus," muttered Ron.  
  
She was in an awful state. The three were so used to seeing Strict McGonagall, composed McGonagall. It was an odd sight.  
  
"I don't mean to be rude," said Harry slowly, "but haven't worse things happened?"  
  
"In a way, yes," began Hermione. "Well, at least on the surface."  
  
"You see," she said softly, in an unusual tone, "the deaths themselves are not that important, to be quite frank. Horrible, yes, but in the long run and in Voldemort's eyes, unimportant.  
  
"What matters more is the meaning of the deaths. That these are Voldemort's first murders since everyone has recognized that he's back, and that's very powerful. This is really the start of the second war, the second war against evil," said Hermione, looking a little dazed.  
  
Harry looked down, and picked up his water glass. Licking his finger, he ran his finger around the edge of the glass, again and again.  
  
"Stop!" cried Ginny, who was sitting next to Harry, and Harry abruptly stopped.  
  
He looked her in the eyes and posed a single question.  
  
"The noise, or everything?"  
  
Her eyes revealed her answer.  
  
.ding.ding.  
  
Dumbledore rose slowly from his seat and the attention of all the students was immediately directed at him. He was dressed in black, black robes, mourning robes. Eyes missing their shine and glitter, they flew across the room, finally landing on Harry and resting for a moment. They spoke multitudes of sympathy for Harry; Harry just looked back sadly. He didn't like the sympathetic glances. The commiserating looks. The 'poor Harrys'.  
  
Ever since Fudge had recognized that Voldemort was actually back, Harry's life had once again been filled with feelings of pity from others. He was slowly learning to build a shell around this and, as it grew harder, he learned to deflect sadness. To push death, Voldemort, Dean, out of his mind; to fill it back up with happiness.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat.  
  
"Welcome, students, new and old, to Hogwarts," he began heavily, slowly.  
  
"I have never given a welcome speech such as the one I am about to give you. Forgive me if you are not satisfied."  
  
And he began bluntly, with no introduction, with no sugarcoating.  
  
"We are entering days of terror that will match, if not exceed in dread and horridness, the days when Voldemort-"  
  
Dumbledore was interrupted by several student's gasps.  
  
"I must insist that you stop that!" yelled Dumbledore, angrily, his voice filled with passion.  
  
"To quote myself," he began in a quiet, soft voice, as if guilt from yelling had forced him to speak in dulcet tones, "fear of a name only increases fear of a thing itself. Voldemort does not deserve the titles we give him. He does not deserve our fear. This is what Voldemort wants," said Dumbledore, and he took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.  
  
"We must refuse to give him what he wants."  
  
Dumbledore looked around the room for a moment.  
  
"The request I pose on you now is simple. Remember Dean. Remember Cedric. Remember all those who lost their lives to Voldemort.  
  
"But do not remember them with fear. Do not feed your fear to an undeserving person."  
  
Dumbledore stood quietly, staring ahead.  
  
"Forgive me. Eat, everyone," he nodded.  
  
Sitting down, he was instantly engaged in whispers from McGonagall, whispers similar to the ones that were growing steadily throughout the Great Hall.  
  
"Whoa," said Ron quietly. "That was odd, wasn't it?"  
  
"Expected, wasn't it?" Hermione retorted. "Of course he's going to be a bit of a mess! How would you be if 2 and a half months ago you battled with Voldemort, you worked against him all summer long, there was a murdering of 6 people you couldn't do anything about, including one of your students, and to top it all off, your pupils can't even take hearing the word Voldemort! He may be Dumbledore, but he's a man. He's not immortal, he's not untouchable, he's not perfect."  
  
Harry glanced over at Ginny for the first time that night. She was staring off into space, looking helpless, a tear rolling down her chin. Harry poked at Hermione, trying to call her attention to Ginny. Hermione looked as if she was about to yell at Harry- her stress level seemed even higher than usual- but then she saw Ginny's face, and her eyes softened.  
  
"Ginny? What are you going to have to eat?" she asked.  
  
"Oh," said Ginny, coming back into the world. "I'm not that hungry right now, thanks."  
  
Hermione looked Ginny over, and picked up her fork, muttering a few words to her plate. Instantly, her plate was filled with yams, corn and bread. She picked up her knife, and began to split open her yam.  
  
Ron glared at Hermione.  
  
"You're not going to say anything more?" he mouthed.  
  
"No, and I hope you wouldn't either," she responded in a normal voice, glancing at Ginny quickly. Hermione took a bit of yams, dusted with brown sugar, and looked back at Ron, who was giving Hermione an incredulous look.  
  
"Really, Ron I mean it," she told him strictly. When he still looked confused, Hermione rolled her eyes, muttering, 'boys.'. In a much softer voice, she told him,  
  
"She needs time. Give her time. Let her work this one out by herself. When she wants us, she'll ask for us. Don't worry."  
  
Hermione gave him a final look as if to seal some sort of deal, and then went back to eating her food. Harry looked down at his plate and ordered quickly; Ron followed suit.  
  
The rest of the feast was silent except for a few giggles from Hermione and Ron. Harry was almost certain they were playing footsy.  
  
Harry sighed heavily as he took his last bite, and looked across the table at Ginny. Dipping his fingers in his water glass, he pulled them out and shook his fingers in her direction, sprinkling her with the water.  
  
She looked up at him, and smiled slightly, eyes filled with pain. He reached his arm over and ran his finger around her palm playfully.  
  
He wanted to say something but he couldn't tell what, so he just kept making circles for a while in her palm, and Ginny finally took a sip of Ron's- who was oblivious to everything but Hermione- soda as Harry did this.  
  
Harry felt triumphant; he'd pulled Ginny out of her 'zoning'. It would take time to get Ginny back, he knew. Baby steps. Especially with Hermione's 'leave her alone' idea. But it would happen. He was certain of that.  
  
((A/N: Special thank you to Jessi Lupin, who reviewed my story TWICE! Thank you so much; it means a lot to me to have someone review my stories ^once^. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I feel bad for not updating recently. This chapter seems a bit off at the beginning to me but I don't know.)) 


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